


The Immortal and The Mortal

by fullmetalscully



Series: Royai Week 2019 [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, F/M, Immortality, Mentions of Suicide, Mortality, Multiple Lives, but revived later on in the story, mature themes, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 15:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19176340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: Royai Week Day 2: Mortal & Immortal“Whoever invokes this transmutation shall be destined to live for all eternity, never dying. That is your payment, however, as per your request, your wife will return to you over the years… as a mortal. Because you foolishly thought you could bring her back from the dead, you will have to search for her, and she will never remember you. So, you will have to prove you are worthy of your wife’s love, Roy Mustang.”





	The Immortal and The Mortal

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaand here comes the angst :D it wouldn't be royai week without it now would it? ;D

 

_"Whoever invokes this transmutation shall be destined to live for all eternity, never dying. That is your payment, however, as per your request, your wife will return to you over the years… as a mortal. Because you foolishly thought you could bring her back from the dead, you will have to search for her, and she will never remember you. So, you will have to prove you are worthy of your wife’s love, Roy Mustang.”_

* * *

**_Xerxes 1509_ **

Roy Mustang jolted awake. His head whipped around frantically, searching the room for the woman he longed to see again. Instead, there was no one. Nothing _human_ anyway. In the middle of the room, inside a white circle he’d drawn on the floor of his main room with chalk, lay an abomination. Roy recoiled in horror, his back hitting the stone wall hard. The _thing_ heaved a breath, struggling to take in oxygen, its mouth opening as if trying to speak.

There were no words. Just a hiss that rattled him to his core.

This _thing_ wasn’t Riza. It had her fringe, her blonde hair dipped in blood and other slimy substances that Roy didn’t want to identify. He retched at the smell it gave off, lifting a hand to cover his mouth as he tried to settle his stomach by sheer force of will.

This… This wasn’t what he’d wanted. What had that… white thing said to him?

“ _Whoever invokes this transmutation shall be destined to live for all eternity, never dying. That is your payment, however, as per your request, your wife will return to you over the years… as a mortal._ ”

That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Riza back, but that thing didn’t give him a choice, didn’t allow Roy to plead his case.

Staring at the centre of the circle, Roy didn’t know what to do. Pure terror held him frozen in place, unsure of his future but knowing he’d just made the biggest mistake of his life.

* * *

“I’m going away,” Roy stated, packing his things into a leather pack. Even to his own ears his voice sounded hollow. It had been a month since he’d opened that portal and that monster had appeared in his home. He’d disposed of it under the cover of darkness, vomiting three of four times as the residue on its skin covered his hands, leaving them slimy, the image of the blonde hair he’d once loved splayed across sand as Roy buried it on the outskirts of Xerxes.

After numerous attempts Roy found out he couldn’t die. Just when he was about to slip away his body would jerk, and he’d be fine. There would be no pain, no physical reminder that he’d been hurt.

That thing he’d met in that white room wasn’t lying.

Which also meant there was another part which was true… And Roy didn’t want to think about that right now.

“What do you mean?” Van Hohenheim asked Roy, expression curious. He’d met the man a year ago and both Roy and Riza had become close friends with him. Hohenheim had revealed his alchemical abilities, and therefore the possibility of human transmutation, excitedly telling them both everything his master had taught him. Roy couldn’t blame him. He’d been a slave his whole life and then his master had taught him alchemy, broadening his horizons and elevating him beyond the life of a slave. Hohenheim was a free man now, and Roy was happy for him.

“I’m leaving Xerxes.”

“Really? Where will you go?”

Roy didn’t know. He just knew he couldn’t stay here anymore. Not after what he’d witnessed. That monster haunted his dreams and lurked in the shadows of his home every day. He needed out. He needed away from here.

“ _Because you foolishly thought you could bring her back from the dead, you will have to search for her, and she will never remember you._ ”

Roy knew his direction. It was to search for Riza. That thing had said she would come back to life, just not in the way Roy had bargained for. He was a desperate man who had nothing left to lose. What other choice did he have?

“I don’t know. West.”

“Roy, don’t you think –”

“No.”

Hohenheim sighed but didn’t offer any further argument. “Okay. Would you like some company?”

“I’ll be fine,” was his sharp reply.

A hand was placed on Roy’s shoulder and he paused. “Take care of yourself, Roy.”

He swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded, continuing to pack away his things.

* * *

**_Amestris 1555_ **

The first time he saw Riza after her death, he’d been dumbstruck. He’d wandered for years through the empty lands. Lush greenery turned to clay, barren landscapes as he travelled west. Heading south he hit the sea and followed the coast until he hit the desert…

Where his home was.

No, that was gone. That was gone when Riza died.

She was walking arm and arm with a man through a small town called Amestris. It was newly formed, had only been done so a couple of years ago. He’d rushed up like a fool, momentarily forgetting just what situation he was in, only for her be too surprised by his enthusiastic antics.

Of course.

She didn’t know who he was.

_“Because you foolishly thought you could bring her back from the dead, you will have to search for her, and she will never remember you. So, you will have to prove you are worthy of your wife’s love, Roy Mustang.”_

The man had been her husband.

And Roy had watched her die, again, by that man’s hands.

His rage was uncontained as he sought out his revenge. His world was darkening bit by bit as the days passed, consumed by his grief and his predicament, but unable to change it.

He’d already tried dying and it just didn’t _work_.

Damn that little white bastard. Damn him right to hell.

In his darkest moments, lounging in the rain, unbothered about how it will affect him, Roy briefly thought of Hohenheim. He hoped his old friend was all right and still happy after all these years. Roy hoped he’d found the freedom and knowledge he’d yearned for.

If anyone deserved it, it would be Hohenheim, Roy surmised. Because he certainly didn’t. He’d committed a sin trying to bring Riza back and now he had to pay the price.

Unable to die and left in this hell for the rest of eternity.

Sometimes it left him numb as he travelled. Other times he would be bent over double at the waist, sobs wracking his body uncontrollably. He truly was left all alone in this world. The feeling crushed him under such a great pressure it left him reeling, suffocating.

His immortality was a curse, not a blessing. Roy couldn’t wrap his head around why the King of Xerxes wished to posess such a power. It was only rumour, but every alchemist in Xerxes knew what the King’s goal was. He’d even questioned Roy and his knowledge on the subject, hoping to find an answer to his question.

Roy had nothing to give him.

He still didn’t.

Opting to remain to the southern part of the desert and avoid Xerxes altogether, Roy made his way to Xing to visit his homeland.

* * *

**_Creta 1656_ **

“Oh god,” Roy gasped, sprinting towards the alleyway. “Riza!”

The men dragging her didn’t let up, but her head popped up, frantically searching for the person who called her name. Before she could shout for help, a man covered her mouth with his hand and Riza begun to struggle.

“Stop right there!” Roy shouted, his rage pushing him to tear each and every one of these men to pieces.

“We don’t have any business with you,” one spat, and the others chuckled around him. “We’re just going to take our _friend_ and go –”

He was cut off as Roy snapped his fingers, fire exploding from the tips to coil around the man’s hands. His skin burned and he dropped Riza to the ground. She scrambled away as another man moved to grab her, but Roy put up a wall of flames between them both. They all took of running, yelling about a monster roaming the streets of Creta.

Roy dropped to his knees, placing a hand on Riza’s shoulder.

“Are you all right?” he asked, eyes full of concern. His gaze roamed over her body, looking for any signs of injuries. Her dress was torn at the bottom and there were patches of dirt on the pale cream fabric, but other than that, she seemed fine.

When his eyes rose to her face he was struck once more by how beautiful she was. It happened every time he met her. His love swelled in his chest and he counted himself truly fortunate to see her face again.

“Y – Yes. I am quite all right,” she stated, taking a shaky breath and Roy helped her to her feet. “I… I’ve never met you before,” she stuttered, eyes frantically searching the darkness as if expecting the men to jump out and grab her again. “Why would you help me?”

_“Because you foolishly thought you could bring her back from the dead, you will have to search for her, and she will never remember you.”_

Roy felt dread pool in his stomach as he remembered, however he replied to her question honestly.

“I couldn’t leave you to face them by yourself. I would rather die than subject you to that.” Riza’s gaze snapped up, eyes searching his. Roy realised what he’d said sounded forward, but it was the truth.

_“She will never remember you.”_

This was worse. She didn’t remember him and that was so much worse. Couple that with the fact that he’d already watched her die more times than he wanted to count over the last one hundred and fifty years, Roy’s existence was a sorrowful one.

But he couldn’t die.

His immortality came at a price, but he’d never wanted it in the first place. He’d been so arrogant that he thought a simple transmutation and a few chemicals could bring his wife back from the dead. This was the price he’d paid for such an act. A life of phycological and emotional torture.

He loved a woman he could never hold for longer than a couple of years. In his existence, it was never enough time.

Equivalent exchange.

“Can I walk you home, Riza?”

“How do you know my name?” she questioned, curiously looking up at him.

“I’m… I’m an old friend.”

“I don’t remember you. I don’t even know your name.”

“I…” Roy sighed. “I am a friend, but from a long time ago.” The word “ _friend_ ” left a bad taste in his mouth because it was a lie, at last for him. “It’s likely you won’t remember me.”

Riza gave him a sideways look, but she nodded. She brushed off the dirt from her dress and looked at him expectantly. “I don’t know why…” she began uncertainly. “But I feel like I can trust you. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but… Do you feel it too?”

“It’s likely because we’ve met before,” Roy smiled, but it was tight and forced.

“I… Never mind,” she muttered, a light blush gracing her cheeks. Roy felt his heart break all over again.

If he chose, he could get years with Riza. Sometimes, upon the first time they met, that was the day she would die in some freak accident. Was it worth it, to put himself through that every time?

After a hundred and fifty years, his heart didn’t know anymore.

* * *

**_Amestris 1791_ **

He couldn’t do this anymore. He clutched Riza’s hand tightly in his, the other covering the wound on her abdomen to try and stop the flow of blood. Roy knew she would be coming back in some way or another, but it didn’t make any of Riza’s deaths easier. Every time it felt like the first time she’d died, back in Xerxes. Perhaps that was part of his toll too.

Roy didn’t care. All he knew that Riza was dying. Again.

It always happened in front of him, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.

“Promise me…?” she whispered against his neck, her lips grazing his skin.

“Anything.”

“Promise… You’ll find me in the next life.”

“Always,” Roy replied, kissing the top of her head. “I always have. I could never stay away.”

“I… don’t really remember… But there is a glimpse of us happy… somewhere in the desert. Does that –?”

“Xerxes,” Roy replied.

“Tell me again, please,” she sighed, body relaxing further against his. As she slipped away, Riza wanted him to tell her how they met for the first time again. Of course, he couldn’t say no.

“I moved there from Xing. I traversed the desert, heading west, because I wanted to explore the world. Only, I discovered something far more brilliant and beautiful than what this world had to offer me.” Riza sighed against him. She didn’t have much time left. Roy knew that much. However, if he could ease her passing with this story then he would tell it a million times over. “I met you and it took a long time to convince your father to let me marry you,” he chuckled. “But I won him over. We lived happily for years.” Her body was still underneath his, her chest no longer rising and falling with breaths. Roy felt tears spring to his eyes. It happened every time.

Deciding to leave out the last part of their story, Roy kissed the top of her head, whispering a promise into her ear.

“I’ll always find you, Riza. I swear it.”

* * *

**_Amestris 1915_ **

“ _Colonel_!” he heard her yell just as the white light overcame him.

“So, we meet again, Roy Mustang,” the entity grinned at him. Roy knew now that its name was Truth. “It’s been a while.”

“I didn’t do this,” he snarled, furious that Bradley and Pride had managed to pin him down to open the gate. “Send me back.”

“I can’t do that. Regardless, you’ve ended up here and a toll must be paid.”

“Send me back!”

“Shout all you like,” Truth grinned, infuriating him. “It’s not going to change anything. To pass through the gate a toll must be paid. The first time it was your mortality. Because of your own arrogance, you wanted to bring your dead love back to life. That’s impossible. Once someone is dead, they are dead. That can never change, although I’m sure now you already know that truth,” it grinned. Roy glared in response. “What shall I take this time? How has immortality treated you over the years?”

“Bastard,” Roy spat.

“ _You_ were the one who wanted her back. I gave her back to you.”

“I had to watch her _die_ time and time again, unable to stop it. That’s not what I asked for.”

“You were not specific. So lost in your grief, you never specified _how_ you wanted her to be brought back, or the conditions of that agreement.”

“I’m…” Roy sighed, every year he’d lived catching up to him at once. He was too old for an argument like this. “I’ve lived far too long,” Roy admitted to himself, suddenly very weary. He’d been alive for over four hundred years. Four hundred years of doing nothing but rediscover the woman he still loved, only to watch her die time and time again under different circumstances. Old age, disease, freak accidents… Everything. Roy had seen it all. Every time Riza died, a part of him died with her.

And she never remembered him.

It had been too much.

“Just… Make sure she lives a long and happy life. Even if that’s without me, I don’t mind. That’s all I want. For her to be happy.”

“As you wish,” Truth grinned, the smile growing wider to reveal more teeth. The form faded to white and Roy’s world went black.

* * *

Roy didn’t know what Truth had taken from him. He felt fine. But… why was the room so dark?

His eyes.

Truth took his eyesight, he discovered.

He’d laughed to himself as the others spoke to Father, the one who looked so much like Hohenheim from his youth in Xerxes. When Roy had arrived in that room, Hohenheim had sounded incredibly surprised to see him. They hadn’t seen each other since Xerxes. After Roy found out what happened he left, returning west to wander for the rest of his days. If he’d known Hohenheim was still out there, he’d probably have sought him out to try and squash down his crushing loneliness. A touch of familiarity would have probably done him the world of good. Something to tie him back to his happily married life in Xerxes…

Roy had laughed at his predicament because how fitting, for Truth to leave him immortal and Riza mortal, but take away his ability to see her again.

It was cruel.

As he was being tossed around by father, disorientated and confused because he was unable to see, Roy came to a realisation. This was different from when he was hurt before. Being immortal, pain was there, but it was gone almost instantly, as if the wounds healed themselves. As he was being hurt… it fucking _hurt_. Nothing like he’d experienced before. His body was drained and fatigued, another symptom he hadn’t experienced in over four hundred years.

Could it be… That he was no longer immortal?

Could… Could he finally die?

There was no time to dwell on it in the fight. It was only after the Promised Day, in the silence of their hospital room, did Roy finally contemplate it. Of course, there was only one way to know for sure if he was no longer immortal, but he didn’t want to die. This was the most he’d ever accomplished in this world. After rediscovering Father and finding out his plans Roy couldn’t leave again. Riza may die before his eyes but he knew she’d come back. Roy had seen this country grow from nothing. It had been his home for over four hundred years. He wasn’t going to let it go to ruin because a bastard from centuries ago decided he wanted to become one of the most powerful beings in existence.

Roy wouldn’t let that happen.

He’d infiltrated the military from early on, and, of course, met Riza in Ishval. She’d angrily demanded where he learned his alchemy from, distrusting him from the start, however it was something Roy was used to at this point.

He never told her what had happened. This Riza was different from the others. Every woman he’d met was like the happy one he’d met in Xerxes, but the Riza in this time was different… She was closed in on herself, shooting glares to everyone who crossed her path. There was no option for conversation, just a crisp salute and minimal small talk. Around the camp she was known as being quiet and staying isolated from the others.

When Roy found her sobbing on the outskirts of the encampment, pleading for him to kill her after everything she’d done there, that was when things begun to change.

It hurt him to know she was suffering in Ishval just like he was. Roy had never anticipated in the wars over the years, but he couldn’t let Father win. It gave him a purpose he’d been lacking for centuries. But he had no idea what he’d been getting himself into when he joined the military.

“Sir, are you awake?”

Every time she called him that, Roy felt crushed. He hated that in this life, that was all they were to each other. Yes, he still got to experience life with her – more than anything he’d ever had before – but there was nothing between them. It killed him to remain distant. He had loved Riza Hawkeye for over four hundred years. It had never once faded or wavered. To spend this lifetime together so close yet so far apart… It was another form of torture that had become his existence.

“Yes, Lieutenant,” he replied to the inky black that was now his life.

“I can hear you thinking,” she replied. From her tone, Roy could almost imagine the wry smile on her face. What he would give to see that smile once more…

He jumped in fright as the bed dipped by his side. “Scoot over,” she murmured, and Roy did so. Riza pushed him gently backwards by the shoulders so he was lying on the bed, unseeing eyes open and looking up at the ceiling.

“Lieutenant, what –”

“It’s all right. I know everything.”

Roy froze. “What? Know what?”

“When you were forced to open the gate, everything came back to me.”

He couldn’t comprehend her words. “I’m sorry, what –”

“Our life in Xerxes, you, finding me every time only to watch me die one way or another, and how much I love you.” Roy’s breath caught in his throat. “Although, that had already been building over the years we spent together in this lifetime. It just confirmed it for me.”

“You… You _remember_?” He was dumbfounded. How… How could this have happened?

Riza nodded against him. Her head was now resting on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his as she cuddled into his side. “I do. You were immortal, weren’t you? Left to search for me every time I was reincarnated?” Roy still couldn’t reply. “I’m sorry you were subjected to that. There was a little white… _thing_. It spoke to me as I faded away. You held me with such care and tenderness that I fought it. I didn’t want to leave this earth and leave you behind. We had so much left to do. Then,” Riza added, taking a breath. “There was this voice speaking to me. I saw a white body sitting on the floor, wearing a grin. No features, aside from the mouth. It was talking to me, telling me all about what had happened, who you were. Memories filled my head from _years_ ago. Well before my time in this life.”

“Riza…”

“I didn’t believe it at first. That was absurd. Then finally, there were the memories of the desert… In Xerxes. I was so happy back then. We had everything…”

“I… I honestly don’t know… You _remember_?”

A kiss was placed against his jaw. “I do. Every bit. You always found me,” she whispered, her voice subdued. “Are you all right?”

Tears leaked down his cheeks, overwhelmed.

_She remembered him._

That was all he’d ever wanted. For Riza Hawkeye to remember him and love him like he had loved her for over four hundred years.

“You’ve been waiting four hundred years for me,” she whispered. “I still can’t believe it,” she chuckled, her disbelief showing. “Sorry I’m a little late.”

Roy laughed through his tears, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her close.

He couldn’t believe it.

No longer immortal but blinded so he couldn’t see the woman who remembered him. It was a steep price to pay, however hearing her so happy and saying she remembered him… It was one he was willing to pay for this sliver of happiness. If Riza Hawkeye was happy, the so was he. That’s what he’d told Truth. He wanted her to be happy.

Apparently, that was with him.

And if this God-like creature decided that was the truth, then it’s clear they were destined to be together.

Finally, in that hospital bed, with his wife curling up against him, he could rest.


End file.
